Bad crap happens to us.
We chose to NOT BELIEVE God’s solutions for our hurt. We did our best, but the outcome was loss – financial, spiritual, relational, emotional. We realized something was wrong, but had no idea how to change or make different choices. Life crashed on.
Other people’s lives don’t seem to have the cracks, bumps, and bruises that we do. We find ourselves comparing and feeling like something was stolen from OUR life that OTHERS get to enjoy.
Your hurt hurt you. The hurt NEVER seems to stop. The waves of consequences from an event you never asked for, keeps stealing your peace, joy, and hope. Part of you knows you deserve some of the waves because of your lack of belief. But there is a much larger part of your soul that is angry that the hurt and the one who did it, won’t stop stealing your joy in the present.
Have YOU been here?… Are you there RIGHT NOW?
I have recently found a new layer of this frustration. Current events show my smoldering anger – anger I thought I had processed.
My perspective was skewed by my anger about the hurt that keeps stealing my joy in the now.
Is Satan laughing at me?
Am I wasting my time trying to heal, make amends, letting love cover a multitude of sins?
It’s like my eyes can only see the person or situation through red glasses while God is telling me it is white. I want to believe Him, but the red won’t go away.
My soul is tired and angry – all at the same time. And the other person who is making me so angry – they have NO IDEA my heart is boiling over. How could they? I am placing less than the best intentions on them – that they are thinking and being and saying things they might not even be thinking, being, or saying – instead of believing the best as God calls me to.
ALL of this.
It is ALL allowed by the Lord to cause me to see the destructive power of sin – done to me and by me.
Everything is affected by unbelief – your abusers actions AND your response to their actions done out of it. God is not bad because humans live in unbelief. We CHOOSE unbelief and then wonder why it hurts us and others so much.
So what is the cure for this anger at the hurt and its continuing theft of my hope, peace, and future?
Change of focus. CHOOSE to stop placing the blame on the one who hurt you. Release it to the only One who can do anything about it – God. He will move in HIS time and for HIS eternal purposes – ALL GOOD, ALL THE TIME!
He is showing us our continual need of Him to overcome the death sin has brought into our lives. We are too broken to fix the situation OR ourselves. WE NEED HIM!
- Do we believe that God is good?
- Do we believe that He CAN AND WANTS TO work ALL THINGS for our good?
- Do we believe that even this loss is for our good as we learn to trust His purging of self, depending on Him for our every need – ALL our needs?
BELIEVING: knowing truth and letting it change our perspective/attitudes/actions
Yes, even this teacher – the one who tells you to run to God and let His truth overcome the lies your past hurt has created – struggles with keeping her eyes fixed on God’s perfect timing and plan for all that is broken in her life. But the answer is still the same -Jesus – and I have faithful safe Sisters-in-Christ-Community who help me remember just that when I crumble, cry, and hurt.
So the past can still have its waves of hurt from the hurt that hurt you and the ways you responded out of it. But God is doing something beautiful and eternal in you and through you that you may not be able to see or understand right now. The truth is that BOTH YOU AND I can trust Him to do the best for us in HIS TIME and in HIS WAY – if we choose to believe, even when we cant see it.
God is good. So we choose to fix our eyes on Him, ask forgiveness for our part, forgive those who hurt us, leaving it all to the One who loves us and who never stops working for our good. When we do, our anger will drain away, we will have energy to love others, and we will stop letting the past steal the joy of today and our restored purpose IN CHRIST for tomorrow.