October 31, 2016

“What If We Were Real?”

Being authentic is so very hard when your life seems out of control and you have been intimately wounded by other people’s words or actions. Sharing your chaos feels terrifying. You cannot even begin to see past this current chaos to believe that if you share it with a safe OTHER, you will not only heal your heart, but increase your ability to see tomorrow and the future in light of God’s goodness FOR you. You don’t know it will enable you to shine light into darkness and be free of the monster that is controlling your present life.

Others also walk in the dark with the same monsters and, like you, they smile and say they are fine –  afraid to be real, to be vulnerable, to be judged for their responses to hurt and their fear. Others have also questioned their faith or been told they would have done it differently. But how can they know they would have? Will they really hear me and “see” me? The unknown response keeps YOU and them in the darkness, without hope, believing this is just the way it will always be.

But what if you were real? What if you were to ask God to show you even one person that is safe to share your mess with? What would you need to know before you could actually be real with them?

Here are a FEW that helped me:

  •  Jesus died for ALL of my mess, both what happened to me and what I did in response to the hurt. (Ephesians 2:1-10)
  • He restored my soul and wants to shine through my cracks – in my weakness, others will see Jesus as strong and find hope for their mess. (2 Corinthians 4)
  • God is my hope of healing and the Hero of my story. It is not about me – It is about Him redeeming my story. (1 Peter 1:3-9
  • Confessing my shame, hurt,  or collateral damage sin, enables me to enter the light of day and find fellowship with others on the journey of being healed and restored by Jesus. (1 John 1:7)

Consider how living backward, stuck in the chaos, unwilling to step into the light of being known, seen, and heard, is actually hurting your life and the lives that it touches, as well as stealing from your present and those the Lord has called you to reach with your story. His Cross has given you power for a new redeemed chapter to your story. If that is true – and it is – what keeps you from being real in Him?

  • Time to  ask yourself a few hard questions: Do you want to stop robbing yourself of the freedom and joy of knowing God can both heal and use YOUR messy story?
  • Do you want YOUR life to have an eternal impact for God’s kingdom beyond this currently all-consuming chaos?
  • Do you want to travel the healing path alone or with others who get it and are there for encouragement and support?

Here is a song that reaches into all that I have been saying and gives words to the struggle as well as the benefits of being real instead of hiding behind our masks of fear, shame, or hurt. People have hurt us in the PAST, but the Lord wants us to trust Him to lead us into safe relationships with people that will heal us NOW.  Listen to the song and then tell me how it has encouraged you to share your mess and be real with others.

What are the benefits to you and to others of you BEING REAL?

If your heart is craving the possibility of being real and being free to let Him heal you and others through your messy story, please share that with me in an email ( or at “Contact Coach Kristin” page.

Here are a few other blogs I have written that might help you process this journey further:

The Gains That Can Come From Releasing What Holds You to the Past

Safe Community: Why It’s Important and How To Find It